The real key to success is making great products and putting a lot of hard work into them.
lol ….F*CK THAT!!!
We don’t like this “hard work” stuff.
So let’s take the easy way and scam people into giving us money!
Our goal here is to deeply exploit human psychology, and get the most vulnerable and needy people to fork over what little cash they have. Let’s put our “Evil Hats” on and get started:
SCAM TACTIC #1:
Make sure you focus on a hopeful yet sort-of-dumb crowd.
These are people who think internet riches are “a push of a button away!”
These are people who subscribe to the idea they “deserve” to live a good life.
These are people who dream of “finding a passive income source that requires no work!”
This will be our target audience.
By the time we apply some fancy copywriting and psychology to these gullible people, they’ll be willingly handing over their money.
This kind of crowd doesn’t understand that success usually requires years of hard work. They want the end result, without the hard work. These people are generally on the lower ends of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
They want the shortcut to riches.
They don’t want to hear about hard work.
They want to bypass all that hard work, and get straight to the riches!
So let’s fill them up with hope, then drain their wallets of cash ;-)
Target psychological emotion: Greed and laziness.
Now that we’ve identified our target audience, we can start getting them to trust us through simple manipulation….
SCAM TACTIC #2:
Show them how badass your life is through pictures!
We need to establish authority and wealth by showing cool shit we’ve done. Do this by showing pictures of cool things their broke asses can’t afford!
If you take every cool thing you’ve done in your life and shove it into a few pictures, your life seems AWESOME.
Show pictures of yourself randomly flying in 1st class seats:
Show pictures of activities that poor people can’t do…..but YOU can because you’re such a baller!
Show pictures of bank accounts with random numbers in them….bigger the better:
Show pictures of you working from random places:
You get bonus points if you add a bunch of hashtags and quasi-motivational shit to the pictures.
These gullible lazy bastards will think we’re ballin’ out of control and know the secrets to wealth! This is because poor people often equate “cool and expensive stuff” with some form of wisdom. Lol…dummies!
Target psychological emotion: Proof and credibility.
SCAM TACTIC #3:
Tell people they “deserve” a certain lifestyle.
Bahahaha……this concept of “deserving” a certain lifestyle appeals directly to the most hopeless and gullible of people.
You get bonus points if you make them think “a certain lifestyle can be theirs only if they believe!!”
This is a what a lot of life coaches do. They pump people full of belief with irrational logic.
But you can’t use rational logic to explain this! You need to use vague quotes (preferably coupled with stock photos of people jumping for joy or running through a field):
People who are very hopeless tend to flock to vague-yet-plausible sounding advice like this. It gives them hope. It makes them trust you. It makes you seem like an inspirational figure. It makes them dream of the output of a successful business…..(of course it conveniently just “inspires” but never actually “teaches” anything valuable) ;-)
These kind of vague images and quotes directly hit the “rewards” part of their brain. It fuels their desire to belong to an elite club where they do little work, have lots of leisure, and make tons of money.
Target psychological emotion: Desire to belong, desire for freedom.
SCAM TACTIC #4:
Don’t EVER get into the specifics of how you make money….just give business-y sounding advice!
You see, since we’re going after a very hopeless audience, we don’t want to give REAL business advice. That stuff is too hard and work-intensive for them to care.
We have to give them “business-y sounding advice” like this:
Bahahhaha……”Shiinzu Miyaki” isn’t even a real name, I just made that shit up whilst Photoshopping the image! But who cares……these idiots will never research it.
These people don’t actually want to do work, but they want to “play entrepreneur.” So you need to make success look like it takes 2 hours a week, can be done from anywhere in the world, and always returns huge rewards.
They don’t want to see hard things. That “work” stuff scares them. They want to see that you’ve figured out some push-button-solution that will solve all their problems.
If you’re not good at making up random advice like this, checkout Reddit.com/r/GetMotivated for endless images and quotes.
Target psychological emotion: Hope.
SCAM TACTIC #5:
Always show HUGE numbers, no matter how irrelevant they are.
Make sure you add tons of bullshit numbers wherever you can! It doesn’t matter what the context is!
Just let them “assume” these numbers are meaningful, like this:
You see….the reality of those numbers is BOOORRRINGG. We need to sex them up and let people ASSUME these numbers mean actual spending money we get to use.
ALSO make sure to never take into account refunds, bank fees, sweat equity, taxes, paying employees or any of those other costs. We don’t want our list of idiots to realize those HUGE numbers we use isn’t actually profit ;-)
If your product sucks so bad that you don’t even have big numbers to show…..just make them up!!
Target psychological emotion: Proof.
SCAM TACTIC #6:
Don’t give any ACTUAL helpful information, just talk about the end benefits of it!
Remember, we’re trying to scam people in the least amount of time, so don’t you DARE do anything helpful for these people!
Don’t do helpful things AT ALL:
Make sure you just keep pumping them up full of dreams, and only give them good information if they pay for it:
The best part is……once we get their money, it DOESN’T MATTER how we tell them to make money!
Just send them some crap-tastic eBook about working hard or something. SUCKERS!!!
Target psychological emotion: Buying the product will solve all problems.
SCAM TACTIC #7:
Be ultra-aggressive when you sell because you won’t see these people ever again.
There are legit companies that do this lame “keeping a customer for life” thing…..but we don’t give a SHIT about our people! We want quick returns and don’t care if we burn bridges.
- Spam them!
- Lie to them!
- Pander to their emotional hot buttons!
- Make them feel really stupid for not buying!
- Do anything (who cares if it’s legal) to get them to buy!
We’re trying to scam people into buying a shitty product…so we HAVE to make them feel stupid for not doing it.
You need to exploit their FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
We need to use language like:
“How stupid are you going to feel on Sunday when you miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to find the riches you deserve?”
“Are you going to sit back and wallow in your miserable life working for someone else? Or are you ready to be your own boss and finally start calling all the shots?”
Make sure you’re extremely aggressive about this.
Shit like this really turns the pressure up for vulnerable people to buy. It combines the two powerful psychological tactics of Time Constraints and Questioning Their Intelligence.
Target psychological emotion: Time Constraint. Questioning Intelligence. Fear of missing out.
SCAM TACTIC #8:
Now that you’ve got their money…RUN!
I mean, 50% of the people you make a sale to will realize they’ve been scammed and try to refund, but 50% of these suckers are too dumb and lazy to refund, so we’ll always make money!
Because we’ve scammed them, these people will unlikely EVER BUY FROM US AGAIN. But who cares right? We’re only in this for the short-term, not building a healthy and long-term business.
SCAM TACTIC #9:
Make a video with a sweet ass house!
Rent buy a house and show off how baller your life is….this will be the final piece that will convince them to buy your scammy product!!
P.S. What are some scammy sales tactics you’ve seen in your life? Lemme know in the comments!