Us humans are horrible at sending and receiving messages.
How many dumb-ass arguments have sprung up between friends/employees/lovers because of dumb misunderstandings?
In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship it might look like this:
Him: “I want to spend tonight alone at my place.”
Her: “Oh my god what did I do wrong? Something clearly must be wrong! Are you breaking up with me?!????”
In a boss/employee relationship it might look like this:
Boss: “Can you take out that pile of garbage please?”
Employee: “This asshole is always giving me the worst jobs….I know he has it in for me. I can’t wait to quit this shitty job…..”
In both these examples, the situation just spiraled out of control for almost no reason.
….actually, there is a reason:
There was static between the Sender and the Receiver.
The Sender is the person sending the message. Here he is represented as a “sending signal” that I stole from the internet:
- Body language cues we don’t even realize we’re giving off.
- Pre-conceived notions we have in our heads.
- Different values and opinions.
- Different experiences with situations.
- Varying levels of intelligence or knowledge.
- The Sender is bad at communicating.
- The Receiver is bad at communicating.
- Both Sender AND Receiver suck at communicating.
So it’s MUCH more simple.
P.S. If you wanna watch a fun misunderstanding, here’s one of my favorite scenes from Pulp Fiction where Vincent gets mad at The Wolf:
P.P.S. For today, when someone pisses you off, try to think if that person DELIBERATELY meant to piss you off….or if it’s perhaps just a simple mis-communication. All that pissy-talk in your head is very draining on yourself, so it’s easier to rationalize that the person isn’t being complete asshole, and you two just had a bit of static between the Sender and Receiver.